Are you too close to see it?

I was deep in one of the most painful projects of my career. My parents were in town, ready to take me to a restaurant I’d been dying to try. They came to my office to pick me up—right as something went wrong. I knew immediately: I couldn’t go

One thing after another kept falling apart.

In my role, I was responsible for the requirements, the budgets, the schedule, and the execution. But so much was out of my control. At the same time, the company was shifting in ways that made me feel even less in control.

Then, a colleague was promoted, adding another layer between me and my previous manager. They’d been there longer and were more qualified, so I didn’t begrudge them the move. But it felt like a demotion, and when my project ended, I couldn’t see a future for myself at the company.

So, I gave notice.

I didn’t have another job lined up. And that didn’t bother me—I’d left a job before without a plan. But what happened next did surprise me.

The owner of the company was in town and took me and another lead on the project out to lunch. I thought it was just a nice gesture—until they started questioning my decision to leave.

I stuck to my politically correct answers:
🔹 I want to do different work.​
🔹 I’m looking for a company where I can grow.

Then they asked: What if we created a new position for you?

I was stunned. I had never been the “beloved employee” at this company. I had already made up my mind. I was running on empty, and the thought of staying—regardless of the role—felt impossible.

Afterward, the other lead on the project said to me, You must really hate it here.

But that wasn’t it.

I just hadn’t seen a future for myself in that company. And maybe—just maybe—I had been looking at things too narrowly.

What if I had started those conversations earlier? What if I had asked for what I wanted before I hit the breaking point?

I see this with my clients all the time. They hesitate to ask for more because they’re not sure what they want. They’re not sure if they want to leave. But here’s the thing: it’s okay to explore your options.

I might have still decided to leave, but I would have known what my options were. Maybe I’d get experience I wanted. So ask yourself: What are you not seeing in your role?

Have you ever or do you now feel stuck in a role, unsure what to ask for? Drop a comment or send me a message — I’d appreciate you sharing your experience.