The questions are rolling in from Dana On Demand, and I just got one that comes up again and again:
“I’ve totally neglected my network, and now I feel like an asshole reaching out when I need something.”
Let me be clear. You’re not an asshole. Unless you act like one. So don’t do that.
Most of us get busy. Most of us fall out of touch. And most people are happy to help if you reach out in a way that feels thoughtful and human.
Here’s how to do that.
Lead with reconnection, not a request. It’s not “Hey, I need a job. Can you help?” It’s:
- “I was thinking about you the other day and realized it’s been a while. I’d love to hear what you’ve been up to.”
- “Your name came up in a conversation about [shared topic], had to reach out and say hi.”
- “You’ve always had great insight on [area]. Can I ask what you’re seeing right now in that space?”
You can always share what’s going on with you later, but that’s not the first move.
Also, this is what LinkedIn was made for. Not everyone is active, but if someone is posting, you’ve got an opening. Leave a comment. Then send a quick message: “I saw your post on [topic]. It made me realize how long it’s been. Hope you’re doing well.”
Other easy ways to warm up your network:
- Reply to someone’s newsletter or post with a personal note
- Send congrats for a new job or milestone
- Share an article or event you think they’d like
- Invite them to something low-key, like a webinar or quick coffee
If you’re building from scratch:
- Go to a networking event or professional group
- Reconnect with people from previous roles
- Say yes to things where you’ll meet people you actually want to talk to
Bottom line? Don’t overthink it. Start small. Reaching out doesn’t have to feel transactional when you treat it like the beginning of a conversation. The more you do it, the easier it gets. Start flexing that muscle and make it a habit to do a little bit each day or each week.
Want to get your questions answered with a little bit of coaching and a little bit of info? Unlimited support when you join Dana On Demand for just $17 a month while the founder’s rate is still available. Plus, you’ll get short (under ten-minute) episodes from me every other week (easy to listen to as a podcast).
Whatever you want to talk about, we’ll cover it. Join here → https://danazellers.supercast.com/
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