Everything is a negotiation

I talk to my clients a lot about negotiation. From their salary, to their workload, to working with other teams… It’s all a negotiation.

One of my clients and I spent our last session talking about an interaction they were having with another team member. The more we talked about it the more they realize that they wish they had handled it differently.

When you are coming up on a negotiation here are a few things to keep in mind:

• Build your rapport – Before we go into the situation we’ve often already come up with a judgement about who the other person is, what they want, and why they might be wrong. Going into it as a conversation. Also at least start the conversation with the idea that you can team together and find the best win-win scenario.
• Know what you want and what you’ll settle for – Know what happens if you don’t come to an agreement, best case and worst case, and that will help you know when to walk away. Think about what it is you’re asking for and what’s underneath that, are there other ways that what you want can be met. Don’t be afraid to anchor higher, meaning go in talking about everything you could possibly want vs what you’ll settle for.
• Be curious – Understand what it is the person really wants and why, not just what they’re saying. Ask lots of open ended questions, mirror back what you’re hearing them say to make sure you’ve got it correct, and even label some of the things you’re hearing behind what they’re saying to make sure you’re understanding.
• Be creative – We often start the negotiation looking at the tip of the iceberg but once you discover what’s really underneath you can start to come up with additional options that meet the real need of what everyone wants.
• Don’t be afraid to pause – Whether that’s silence during the conversation after you’ve stated something, taking a breath, or taking a break if things aren’t going well. You can come back with a cool head and a clearer perspective.

Think about one thing you might negotiate moving forward and how you can apply some of these strategies.